Rules of the South...

[falcongtho3]

The 'Rules of the South' are as follows!!!


1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.


2. Turn your cap right, your head isn't crooked.


3. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road." I drive a

pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're

going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.


4. hey are cattle. That's why they smell to you. They smell like

money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-40 goes east and west,

I-65 goes north and south. Pick one.



5. So you have a $70,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000

cotton strippers that are driven only 3 weeks a year.


6. So every person in the south waves. It's called being friendly.

Try to understand the concept.



7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of doves are coming in, we

WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up

to your ear at the time.


8. Yeah, we eat catfish & crawfish. You really want sushi & caviar?

It's available at the corner bait shop.




9. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a

religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.



10. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women,

regardless of age.


11. We say "sir and ma'am", "please and thank you", "excuse me and

I'm sorry" when we are wrong or impolite. Do not make the mistake

of thinking it makes us weak. It's just good up-bringing.


12. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak. Or you

can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.


13. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats,

vegetables, and breads We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup!


Oh, yeah.... We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat...

IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!



14. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet and served

over ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute,

know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.


15. College and High School Football is as important here as the Lakers and

the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.


16. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards -- it frightens the fish, and aggravates the alligators.


17. Colleges? We have them all over. We have State Universities ,

Universities, and Vo-techs.


18. Don't think that since we talk slow, we think slow. You may be in for a surprise.


19. We have more folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines.

So don't mess with us. If you do, you will get whipped by the best.


20. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump stuff ain't music,

anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your

boxers! Refer back to #1

[SHKR281]

*shakes head

[65fastback2+2]

Originally Posted by falcongtho3

13. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats,

vegetables, and breads We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup!


Oh, yeah.... We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat...

IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!

100% true....people up here talk all about it...so i went and tried it.....apparantly they arent smart enough to spell "spaghetti" so they had to shorten it to "chili" lol

[TEXASDSGMACH1]

Sounds like a good set of rules to me:THUMBSUP:

[MachGirl04]

Wait a minute. i'm a freakin' yankee. I say it isn't chili unless it has frijoles, and some habeneros or jalapenos. It does not involve ketchup, or salt, or pepper. We don't have freakin' spaghetti in it. That ain't natural! you have to go pretty far south on the yankee border to get that.

[hawk]

ain't chile if it does have frijoles...

[03mach69mach]

Great list, forgot one.

When a horn on a car honks, it's because it's someone who knows you and is saying "Hey", not "Hey, Get the H#$@ out of the way"!

I had to teach my kids this when we went up North a couple of years ago. Sitting at a light and didn't get a .003 reaction time and had a young chicky chick lay on the horn, to which my kids said, "Dad, who is that girl who honked at you? Wow, someone from our town way up here!" That's when we had the Yankee talk

[HAEG]

Heading south or even west for a northeasternor is tuff. I was never so pissed off when a nice lady stopped in the middle of the road to let me into traffic. I was throwing a fit, I mean you can't just put all that kindness on me at once. After a week I was getting used to it, then when heading home, once I hit the PA turnpike I knew I was back home again. I welcome the first middle finger shot at me and some old lady yelling FU...

[BLUEMACHON]

Originally Posted by 03mach69mach

Great list, forgot one.

When a horn on a car honks, it's because it's someone who knows you and is saying "Hey", not "Hey, Get the H#$@ out of the way"!

I had to teach my kids this when we went up North a couple of years ago. Sitting at a light and didn't get a .003 reaction time and had a young chicky chick lay on the horn, to which my kids said, "Dad, who is that girl who honked at you? Wow, someone from our town way up here!" That's when we had the Yankee talk

That is Funny! My sister lives west of Cleveland in Avon Lake Ohio and when we visit it almost seems like we are in another country. However when we travel anywhere in the south, we feel right at home.

[RedLiner]

Originally Posted by HAEG

Heading south or even west for a northeasternor is tuff. I was never so pissed off when a nice lady stopped in the middle of the road to let me into traffic. I was throwing a fit, I mean you can't just put all that kindness on me at once. After a week I was getting used to it, then when heading home, once I hit the PA turnpike I knew I was back home again. I welcome the first middle finger shot at me and some old lady yelling FU...

:LAUGH: Too funny!

[machths]

Yep, culture shock is an amusing thing.

[03mach69mach]

Originally Posted by HAEG

Heading south or even west for a northeasternor is tuff. I was never so pissed off when a nice lady stopped in the middle of the road to let me into traffic. I was throwing a fit, I mean you can't just put all that kindness on me at once. After a week I was getting used to it, then when heading home, once I hit the PA turnpike I knew I was back home again. I welcome the first middle finger shot at me and some old lady yelling FU...

That is funny. My kids now ask me what bone head thing did I do in the car when they hear someone honk that I know.

I should have prefaced my comments to only include the rural south. I have had many old ladies & men throw me the bird for a lane change or red light in Atlanta, Charlotte & Nashville. Maybe it's a small town vs big town thing more than North/South

[MachGirl04]

Funny stories, guys. I don't really argue that most yanks are bloody wankers. ( I threw that one in to sound more yankee).

When I went to Dallas we drove there and made quite a few stops. In that trip I would have to say that the people in Oklahoma were the nicest people. I still think that, I mean everyone you encountered would talk to you. Each state is different obviously. Spend all of my time in IL and IN. People in IN, way nicer.

I don't think we all fit so neatly into your little stereotype though. Been a northerner all of my life, but my mom's side, raised in the south, so I had alot of that in my upbringing.

I'lll usually let every 3rd person merge in front of me with a kind wave & a smile. I'll flip off the other two!

[Uloset]

Originally Posted by falcongtho3

6. So every person in the south waves. It's called being friendly.

Try to understand the concept.

That always made me laugh my Uncle was born and raised in Philly (Philadelphia) and married my Aunt who was from Western PA I mean basically in Ohio. My aunt and uncle lived in Pittsburgh so when we would visit sometimes we'd also visit my Aunt's family and my Uncle would always say "Watch THIS!" and wave to random people around their town and man I though that was so funny because if you did that around here everyone would be like "where did that guy escape from" lol not just smile and wave back. Now that I have grown older and more mature I still think it was funny just like my uncle did before me sorry guys just can't get used to it.

[FordMan]

Originally Posted by MachGirl04

Funny stories, guys. I don't really argue that most yanks are bloody wankers. ( I threw that one in to sound more yankee).

When I went to Dallas we drove there and made quite a few stops. In that trip I would have to say that the people in Oklahoma were the nicest people. I still think that, I mean everyone you encountered would talk to you. Each state is different obviously. Spend all of my time in IL and IN. People in IN, way nicer.

I don't think we all fit so neatly into your little stereotype though. Been a northerner all of my life, but my mom's side, raised in the south, so I had alot of that in my upbringing.

I'lll usually let every 3rd person merge in front of me with a kind wave & a smile. I'll flip off the other two!

Dallas is a wanna-be Yankee city that would be more at home if it were picked up and dropped in the Northeast. Generally speaking, in the Great State of Texas, anywhere outside of Dallas or Houston proper is populated by upstanding folks.

[MachGirl04]

Originally Posted by FordMan

Dallas is a wanna-be Yankee city that would be more at home if it were picked up and dropped in the Northeast. Generally speaking, in the Great State of Texas, anywhere outside of Dallas or Houston proper is populated by upstanding folks.

Don't you dare drop that thing up here. We don't want it either!

[MidlandMach1]

Originally Posted by Mach1Marauder

HELLS YEAH!!!:ORANGE:

I definately have to agree with you.

[FordMan]

Originally Posted by Mach1Marauder

I make some MEAN gas!!!

Fixt

[nickeynova]

just my 2 cents but those rules should apply in every state..

[Bill Hamilton]

Originally Posted by MachGirl04

........................

I'lll usually let every 3rd person merge in front of me with a kind wave & a smile. I'll flip off the other two!

Whenever I get "flipped" off I always act shocked and say, "No thanks, I'm married and don't fool around." That usually flustrates or embrasses them so bad they don't know what to say after that.

I never could figure out why if you were upset with someone why you'd offer up a hand signal for having sex or verbly use the term to have sex with them. Sounds kind of kinky to me.

But then again, I'm not sure what I (or them) would do if I said, " Okay where do you want to meet?"... and they took me up on it.

[G]

The South Rules :LAUGH:

[MachGirl04]

Originally Posted by Bill Hamilton

Whenever I get "flipped" off I always act shocked and say, "No thanks, I'm married and don't fool around." That usually flustrates or embrasses them so bad they don't know what to say after that.

I never could figure out why if you were upset with someone why you'd offer up a hand signal for having sex or verbly use the term to have sex with them. Sounds kind of kinky to me.

But then again, I'm not sure what I (or them) would do if I said, " Okay where do you want to meet?"... and they took me up on it.

MOST of the people that I would flip off are too busy talking on the cell phone to even notice the offer! haha! I was kidding anyway, I don't really go around flipping the bird and I'm a pretty nice driver. There are enough maniacs out there already plus I have kids in the car most of the time. The LAST thing I need is to be a victim of someone's road rage.

I DO however have parking lot rage. Anytime I've had a problem, it's in a parking lot. The fat chick in the SUV who tried to run me & my infant over comes to mind. And the old angry dude who was too lazy to walk and IMPATIENTLY waits for me to load my kids in the carseats so he can get my primo parking space. The idiot that parks so close to me & over the line that I can't get into my car. That's the stuff that sets me off!

[71mach103]

Originally Posted by falcongtho3

16. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards -- it frightens the fish, and aggravates the alligators.

that one is great

[jbrad88]

Outstanding


I liked that list...

[Bill Hamilton]

Originally Posted by MachGirl04

MOST of the people that I would flip off are too busy talking on the cell phone to even notice the offer! haha! I was kidding anyway, I don't really go around flipping the bird and I'm a pretty nice driver. There are enough maniacs out there already plus I have kids in the car most of the time. The LAST thing I need is to be a victim of someone's road rage.

I DO however have parking lot rage. Anytime I've had a problem, it's in a parking lot. The fat chick in the SUV who tried to run me & my infant over comes to mind. And the old angry dude who was too lazy to walk and IMPATIENTLY waits for me to load my kids in the carseats so he can get my primo parking space. The idiot that parks so close to me & over the line that I can't get into my car. That's the stuff that sets me off!

Of course I figured you were kidding and so was I. Cell phone users, especially those doing under the limit and in the left lane, are a major peeve for me too. The newest hazard is people text messaging while driving.

I have a friend with a $150,000 plus 2005 Ford GT and he says his biggest problem is people on the highway trying to take a picture of his GT with their cellphone camera. They tend to drift towards what they're looking at.

As far as parking lots, I usually park as far away as I can (at the Mall/WalMart/and ect.) to save on door dings and to get the exercise. It drives my wife batty. She like to cruise up and down the lanes for that primo spot close to the door (LOL).